Blog Post 1: Stimuli

Blog Post 1: Initial Stimuli

My initial intentions for this project were to explore the idea of Innocence and Experience.  I hoped to illustrate that time, the environment and the experiences we are exposed to can alter our natural state of being.  I used as my stimulus the poems of William Blake and his collection 'The Songs of innocence and Experience'. Blake was writing at a time of great social and political change and he explored the tension between the natural human energy and the repression of social and political conventions, such as the church and the government.   I wanted therefore to explore how this development can negatively impact individuals and initially I selected two contrasting poems within the collection to form the foundation of my work: "The Lamb" and "The Tyger”. I believe they jointly represent Blake's unresolved spiritual perplexity. Why would God let such opposing states coexist? Blake entitled his work as “the two contrary states of the human soul" which represents the coexistence of light and dark; good and evil; the lamb, the tiger. ‘Did he who made the Lamb make Thee?”(Blake 1794)  These states are a part of life's binary oppositions. (COLEG1999, 2018) 

Despite having spent hours researching and crafting a large amount of movement motivated by these poems, by the end of November I realised I was not truly committed to the idea.  Although I felt there was potential in the concept, there was a missing element to it. The sparks would not catch alight.  I therefore decided to redirect my topic and paint a new picture using all the colours I had collected from my recent experience.

The topic I decided upon is one which is painful; one which has consumed and haunted my thoughts since last summer, on 22^nd July. It was on this date that I was the last person to see and engage with a man who was so desperate that he took his life. My choreography therefore is a depiction of a man's unfortunate ending as well as the impact it has had on me, the observer.  This is Daniel's suicide.

The first topic had become so wide ranging, with so many potential paths, it resulted in a lack of direction.  My lack of clarity resulted in a lack of productivity and delayed the chorographic deadlines I had set at the start of the project. I saw potential in the idea, however found it theoretical.  Redirecting my theme was the best path to take. The slate, however, was not blank and although parts of my topic and all movement had to be replaced, I realised that the fundamental idea remained in place.  I now believe that my own story is an example of the journey from Innocence to Experience and so my topic is an acting out of my source idea. It was the missing piece. The suicide really captures and confirms this question: how could God have let one of his innocent "lambs" live such a miserable existence which resulted in him taking his own life? 

By moving my initial ideas in this new direction, the first part of my piece will be an exploration of how the "contrasting states of the human soul" can develop with exposure to certain environmental factors. These "experiences" could perhaps start from childhood, the people they are exposed to, health concerns as well as financial and housing issues. My aim within this section will be to gradually portray the innocent joyous light of their life dissolving away as more of these problems build over time. Changes take place: personality, character, self-belief, confidence, depression and anxiety. One thing impacts upon another and a chain of events can spiral in a negative direction.  In order to pursue the idea of impact, cause and effect, I hope to build in a change of perspective in the second half of my piece, from the victim to an observer - like myself. I hope to express the impact a suicide can have on anyone connected to the sufferer: strangers, friends or family.  

Daniel's story:

He was unknown to me before the 22nd of July.  However, I was woken early on that morning to his cries of despair as he hung outside the balcony of my room.  I was initially unaware of where the sounds came from, thinking it was perhaps an argument in the street outside.  I heard his pleading, I heard his cries.  I am left wondering whether I could have changed the outcome – if only I had realised sooner what was taking place.   I believe Daniel's story is an example of how being trapped and beaten down by years of harsh environmental and emotional torment can cause a person to commit suicide. Although I do not know the full details of his story, I know he was housed in accommodation for vulnerable people.  It would seem that poverty, lack of education, abuse, addiction or isolation had closed in on him and affected his mental wellbeing so greatly, it drove him to his end. 

I hope to give an insight into the effects different environments can have on people as well as the connection we all have with one another. I aim to touch the audience emotionally, building empathy for an individual’s plight, although the nature of the subject matter may cause a feeling of unease.  If I capture the incident emotionally, then the audience may well feel uncomfortable.  I also hope to embody the external, environmental blocks that drain and ruin people into my way of moving, showing weight of movement as well as physical barriers. Another key goal of mine will be to find original and unique ways of moving.

I further want to emphasise the connection we all hold with one another. The actions of one can have rippling effects on others. In conversation with an Officer of the Kings Cross Police Station on the morning of the incident, she revealed how suicides are quite common acts within London however they are often not publicised in order to prevent others viewing it as an option. (Station, K. C. P., 2021)     

  

An area I need to gather more information about is the understanding of Daniel's environment and how this potentially could have contributed to his suicide. I hope to gather some answers to the questions I have collected: who was he? What environment was he faced with? How many hardships did he face? What event could have been his tipping point? Was it a build-up of factors?

Marco Goecke is a practitioner I greatly admire.  After watching several  of his pieces, in particular the production called "Nachtmahr”, I wish to study his style more deeply.  I was mesmerised by the way his dancers move - he has the ability to express fear and internal torment in the most original, mechanical, yet fluid way. I believe much of the most extreme parts of my choreography will be inspired by his rapid and inventive way of moving.

 

 

References:

-Blake, W., 2006. Songs of Innocence and Experience. Facsimile edition ed. na: Tate Publishing.

    -  COLEG1999, 2018. William Blake’s “The Tyger” and “The Lamb”. [Online] Available at: https://surveyofbritishliterature.wordpress.com/2018/03/22/william-blakes-the-tyger-and-the-lamb/[Accessed 29th September 2021].

 -Station, K. C. P., 2021. Witness Interview [Interview] (22 July 2021).