Blog Post 8: Personal Development

- Jan 20th - At this point I have completed 7 and half minutes of my piece.  I now have the ending of the first and last sections to complete.  These are perhaps loaded with the most emotion and I have wanted to ensure that I have paved the way correctly to this point.  I want to avoid pathos and over-dramatisation and so have been experimenting with ideas that show the idea of being 'broken'.

The greatest challenge for me so far was making the decision to restart my project in late November. Of course this decision placed me in a far better position regarding my creativity and motivation.  However, the pressure to create my 10 minute piece quickly and to allow time for me to practise and get the movement flowing through my body effortlessly became far greater. 

I have found it difficult to remember the order of the sections as I have interwoven two different emotions/movements into the middle section to show a gradual build up of obstacles and reduction of well-being e.g.  a happy, salsa-like phrase is interweaved with more staccato and linear movements.  Changing the body's dynamic seamlessly, whilst remembering the sequence of movements has been challenging. I have also repeated movements but employed different dynamics which I must ensure are clearly identifiable, but only reflections of previous emotions. I have had to focus on ensuring I create a balance of familiar and new. 

Another challenge I faced earlier this month was my mental "rut." This briefly decelerated the speed at which I was producing material.  This however was soon resolved with the help of Twyla Tharp's unblocking exercises in her book 'The Creative Habit', as well as using one of Wayne McGregor's choreographic methods to create movement material. McGregor's method helped develop my confidence again to find and develop in my own movement discoveries. 

These challenges, however, have profoundly impacted my creative approach for the better.  I believe it has influenced me to become a bolder choreographer who recognises the importance of generating movement from a variety of sources, not simply to please an audience. 'Blockages', I recognise are a common difficulty which require reflection and dialogue to overcome.  

Integrating my research into my piece has been the most enjoyable part of the process.  Prior to changing my topic this area was my most challenging - despite it being the reason for my piece. In September/ October time, I believed that connecting research to movement was a task that had to be practised and developed - a tedious and draining labour. With hindsight, I now know my unsettled feelings were because I was pursuing a topic that burdened me; the more research I made into Blake's imagery, the more I realised how complex his philosophy was. I was constantly questioning meaning and how such depth could be expressed... and what I was expressing it for.  Once I had changed my topic to a profound personal experience, borne of a deep-rooted social problem, this research fell into place.  When I then looked more closely at issues around housing, vulnerability and social injustice, I was inspired. Now, every movement of mine has been influenced by the research I carried out. 

The more knowledge I have gathered on my topic, the more clarity I have on where I want to take it and bring light to it. Specific actions and types of movement have been carefully crafted from the information I have discovered e.g. the repetition of certain actions such as the praying position; placing a finger across the mouth to represent repression and lacking a voice.

The repeated soft floating arms are there to suggest multitude of things which have been influenced by the research I have found - the piece starts with soft wing like arms, representing innocence like a child playing and exploring within their cradle. Later on they are repeated and then flipped with the arms outstretched like a plea to God - this action suggests and explores the question William Blake was so bewildered by - how can such innocence coexist with such suffering? The soft arms are repeated 4 times within my piece. The remaining are small reminders of what once was... but get shorter and shorter as time goes by - the old safety is fading away. 

The last three and a half minutes of my choreography did not require the same amount of research compared to the previous section. This part is based on my own thoughts and feelings and my dialogue with the police officers attending the scene. I have been able to use my immediate emotions after the incident as a source of information which I recorded on that day. I have also used imagery of the truly heartbreaking point where he fell, as I rub the ground with my hand:  a bloodied paving slab, which was never cleaned up. 

I believe my research has developed and evolved during my choreographic process in the best way possible. It has only ever provided another layer of detail that could be placed within my piece. The evolving research has definitely guided the structure of my work as well as the variety of movement styles within my piece. Finding the website of  Somerton House and communicating with the Chairman was a real turning point. I have been able to express many of the issues they have faced over the years into movement. Most importantly I have learnt how to use the voices and meanings within me to guide my movements.