Motif Development Part 2: Getting Stuck in a Rut

January 2022

I have been experiencing what Twila Tharp in 'the Creative Habit' describes as a "rut" -  "spinning your wheels and staying in place." (Tharp, 2002)  Reading this book has been eye opening as it has verbalised and explained the thoughts and problems I have been facing. 

The fear of restarting my piece caught up with me in late December. I had made progress, however the daunting prospect of the final performance had started to haunt me. Tharp explains that the idea of starting with nothing and knowing you have to replace this blank canvas with something "whole, beautiful and satisfying" can "totally paralyse people." (Tharp,2003.Page 5). This description completely summed up part of my problem. I had such high expectations which caused me to procrastinate from the fear of not getting it "right". 

Twila Tharp describes ten characteristics which she feels are at the heart of who she is; a piece she is working on is a reflection of these ten states. Her two most dangerous qualities are "distractions and fears" (Tharp,2003.p22) which she describes as 'the invasive demons of a project'. A process she uses to prevent these fears from paralysing her is to identify them and then come up with a contrasting view point to focus on. An example she gave: "I have nothing to say." She then challenged this by writing; "We all have something to say. If the dancers don't walk out on you, the chances are the audience won't either."(Tharp,2002. p22)

This process really has helped me discover the block caused by one of my own fears. Hidden within my choreographic values lay a motive that was not serving me - rules, conventions and in particular - audience pleasing. Although this is certainly not a bad quality (since the work is made for an audience to experience and therefore very important to consider them throughout the choreographic process) it came to the point where I was studying, dissecting and manipulating movement with only the audience in mind. By so doing I was stripping back the authentic spark behind my movement incase it was not suitable enough or would not give enough impact for the audience. This resulted in my doing the opposite of what I wanted; at times I was creating movement for the sake of it. I felt frozen by the overwhelming amount of possibilities - unsure of what to settle with. Simply acknowledging and letting these thoughts surface has been one step closer to breaking this pattern.

I have reflected on the ways I can combat this belief system. With the help of Tharp's observation exercise, I have concluded it was a case of rebalancing the external with the internal - to turn inward and discover what I wanted, what was true for me will be the right path to take. On reflection, I feel this will actually be the best way to connect with an audience - by offering them the true emotion that is inside me. Since acknowledging this, I have been able to work with far more ease and clarity. The weight of this pressure has been put to one side for the time being.

References:

- Tharp, T., 2002. The Creative Habit. English ed. Na: Simon Schuster .

- Na, 2003. Twyla Tharp, Online photo. 2003. Available at: